Moving Forward after Loss

Moving Forward after Loss

During the healing journey, it is often recommended to find something new to learn or experience to help with the process of acceptance. There are 7 steps to mastering a new skill. If you learn the right skills, you can be wealthy, play a musical instrument, have a great new relationship, or juggle five balls. Mastering a new skill is a skill in itself. There are several ideas to keep in mind as you learn a new skill. Setting goals, getting expert coaching, and having reasonable expectations are all important.

Master a new skill quickly and efficiently with these strategies:

1. Choose an appropriate skill. You don’t have time to learn everything, so pick something meaningful. It can either be a skill that will greatly aid you in some way or a skill that you find fascinating. If the new skill doesn’t fit into one of these two categories, you’re unlikely to stay motivated enough to master it.

2. Set both long-term and short-term goals. Your long-term goal is mastering your chosen skill. Just how good do you want to be? The short-term goal is no more than 12 weeks in the future. At the end of this short time, you set a goal for how far you want to be after the next few months. This will keep you focused on making continuous progress.

3. Have reasonable expectations for your progress. Your ultimate progress is virtually unlimited. However, there is a limit to how much you can accomplish in 12 weeks. Realize that you’re unique and your rate of progress could be faster or slower than average.

4. Breakdown the skill into its components. For example, playing the piano isn’t just about hitting the correct keys in the correct order. It has several skills interwoven into a larger skill. To be a good pianist, you must be able to do several things well:

  • Sight-reading
  • Compensating for the fact that some fingers are much stronger than others
  • Understanding music theory
  • Scales
  • Arpeggios
  • Dynamics

5. If appropriate, get a coach. You can learn to play piano by yourself, but you’ll have a hard time finding a high-level pianist that didn’t receive expert instruction. At the very least, find materials created by an expert. These may be in the form of books, videos, webinars, or websites. Even periodic meetings with a coach can keep you on the right track

6. Focus on what’s most important. The old adage that 20% of your efforts will account for 80% of your results is true. Determine which activities and skills will yield the greatest results. Most people focus on the activities that are the easiest or the most interesting. Avoid being that person. Your progress will be faster if you focus on the most important tasks.

This is often referred to as deliberate practice. Banging on the piano keys while you catch the end of Rocky V isn’t the same as focusing all of your attention on learning how to play a C with both hands.

7. Get started quickly. Avoid falling into the trap of gathering an excessive amount of information before you get started. The person that masters a skill is the one that spend his time wisely. Watching videos of someone playing the piano isn’t a substitute for doing it yourself. Dive into the practical part of mastery quickly.

You’ll be surprised by how quickly you learn if you choose an appropriate skill, focus on the most effective tasks, and practice consistently. Choose a skill that will add value to your life and you’ll benefit from it forever. Learning a new skill can change your life and help you embrace grief.

“Learn to Dance with the Limp”

“Learn to Dance with the Limp”

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ~ Anne Lamott ??

After loss of any kind comes a time (when it feels right) to rebuild. It’s necessary to spend your time, energy, and focus in an intentional manner. Too many distractions, less important goals, and a shortage of resources can get in the way of living an amazing life. The lack of a clear objective is the greatest obstacle. These are challenges that can be solved with a little effort.

Create a life that’s meaningful to you:

1. Remove what isn’t necessary. Too many responsibilities and distractions are obstacles to an amazing life. Get rid of anything that takes up time or space and doesn’t provide a worthwhile return. It should be important to you if you choose to include it in your life.

2. Decide on your priorities. You might not be able to walk on Mars, climb K2, become a movie director, and be chief of neurosurgery. However, you can accomplish some pretty amazing things over the course of a lifetime. It’s important to narrow your focus to a few priorities. What’s the most important thing to accomplish or experience? Keep your list short.

3, Stock up on the necessities. Creating an amazing life requires courage. The more your risk, the more courage you require. But imagine if you had plenty of money, time, energy, and support. You’d need much less courage to chase after that amazing life. Fear will have much less influence over your life. Start building reserves in the key areas of your life.

4. Remove the distractions from your life. It might be the television, the casual friend you’ve been half-heartedly carrying around for 7 years, or the goals that only interest you moderately.

Warren Buffett often advises people to make a list of their top 10 priorities in order of importance. He then says to avoid numbers 4-10 like the plague. Those are the things that get in the way of accomplishing the top 3.

5. Deal with negative thoughts. Big goals and ideas stir up negative thoughts and emotions. Failing to deal with these can cause big challenges down the road. Be committed to expecting the best, finding solutions, and staying positive. Negativity takes the wind out of your sails and fuels procrastination.

6. Spend your time wisely. There are multiple ways to accomplish any task. Avoid taking the easy path. The easy way is often the long way. Life is short, so choose the shortest path to your amazing life. This is often the most uncomfortable path, but you can handle it.

7. Get started. The first step is often the hardest. You have everything you need to take a meaningful first step. Avoid waiting for some future event to occur. You can do it today, even if you have kids, a limited income, or limited knowledge. Just get started.

It’s not that difficult. There’s really much less competition in the world than you think. Look at how much time the average person wastes at work and at home. Most people fail to prioritize their time. Most people don’t have goals. Most people have too many distractions. When you choose the direction of your life and eliminate distractions, the road is relatively easy. Setting priorities and removing distractions are the keys to creating a meaningful life. Use your time wisely. There’s still time to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, but it’s important to get started today.

Condolences for Pets

Condolences for Pets

Sadly I have had a few friends lose their beloved pets in recent months. The loss of a fur baby can be very traumatic. For many people, pets become members of the family. We have a little toy poodle named Beethoven who is very much apart of the family. Being there to listen and sending a sympathy e-card to a friend or a loved one when their pet passes away can offer care and comfort during a difficult time. Check out Your Dog Advisor site for thoughtful gift ideas.